ive been makin the rounds..

so my hopes of getting out of here on tuesday were shot down like, well, i dont know, i couldnt think of much to compare. except fish in a barrel. yeah thats the one. my dreams of getting out of here are the fish and and this hospital is the giant smoking gun shooting all these helpless fish. but i mean, i somewhat expected it so im not too bummed. just so ready to come home. and at least i dont feel like shit anymore. the only thing bothering me is my peeling dry hands and my one blurry eye. they say this will get better when my blood counts come up. but they say a lot. a lot of things are depending on when my blood counts come up. its taking awhile for the counts to come up, but this can be normal, nobody is worried yet. sometimes they just take awhile to come up, sometimes its because the toxicity from the high-dose chemo i recieved is holding the counts back from rising, they also say the counts could not be rising due to residual disease still residing in the bone marrow, leukemia cells hangin out, stopping the marrow from creating good cells. sucks just waiting, it seems like nobody knows whats going on, but how could they. taking it day by day. eventually, somethings gotta give and they will have more info about the plan of attack in the next few days. until then im just watching the clock, and the discovery channel but its always deadliest catch or some bullshit ghost hunter show. need to just keep watching the sopranos, its the only good television i can find these days.

so anywho, some kind folks have helped set up the bone marrow donor drive, as most of you probably already know, for those that don't. May 8th downtown livermore, in the old alehouse building. the owners have been kind enough to let us use the old building for a generous cause. hopefully i will be outta here in time and well enough to hang that day. garrett roads has been setting up some bands to play during the event, and tim and kathy, pickles owners, are getting some samiches for the day. many thanks to everyone involved in helping set this up. i believe the turn out will be huge, and i cant tell you how much that means to me. if not for me, its rad that so many people are willing to join the registry to help somebody else in the same situation.

had a wild dream the other night, i was hanging out with a magician. he taught me how to 'disappear'. it was more or less teleporting. he gave me this circular glass like monacle type deal, that i had to hold up, look through and kinda snap my finger, and boom, smoke appears, and i disappear. anyway we were teleporting everywhere, showin tricks to mass millions, more so about a hundred or so. anyway, through all this teleporting, i lost the magician i was hangin with, to much travel. i didnt have my skills honed, and i lost the touch. no magician by my side to help me out. i was running around trying to disappear, no dice. i kept lookin through this glass snappin my fingers, its like how hard could it be? couldnt do it, got stressed and woke up.

anyway, i think i should be outta here sometime soon, i dont want to say a day to look forward to, cause nobody knows. but when im out, im going out to breakfast lunch and dinner everyday. so if you want to grub ever, call me, im down. ive got to have a real good month before i go back for transplant, cause ill be real fragile after that, assuming it will be in june, but i dont want to assume that, even though they said they think it will be real soon that they find a match, but when i get my hopes up i just gotta think about that fish in a barrel routine. anywho, when im outta here, lets hang.