plan b, among other things

Despite the upsetting news a few days back, im feeling pretty good about the doctor's new plan for treatment. As you may or may not know, when i came in here the percentage of leukemia cells in my bone marrow was ab out 70-80%. after the bone marrow biopsy the other day, a week after the chemo, i was not in remission (less than 5%), it was about 20-30. My doctor, Dr. Martin, solid dude, came in earlier and gave me a briefing of his plan. apparantley good bone marrow cells grow much faster than the leukemia cells. and i guess the biopsy they did when i got here was 70-80% of a full body of bone marrow, the chemotherapy basically killed all my bone marrow, and the new biopsy was 20-30% of a near empty bone, so he is going to have me basically rest, and have my blood counts come back up for the next 2 weeks, hoping that the good cells will fill my bone marrow much quicker than the bad, and i could even be in remission then, who knows. the ideal situation then would be, that the leukemia does not grow back fast, and that i am in remission, or even about at 15-20% he said he would still jump into the bone marrow transplant at that percentage, giving that my sister is a match. i would go home in 2 weeks, if in remission, hang out for a couple weeks at home, then come right back for the transplant. Although i really hope that i am in remission, giving that the GvH disease is more likely to show up when the leukemia isnt at knocked down as planned, and then i would come back for the outpatient chemo about 1-2 months after the transplant, if the leukemia is not completely gone. but lets keep our fingers crossed.

Now there is also a possibility that the leukemia could grow back rapidly, which they would notice almost immediately via microscope, on account of suspicious things such as a high white blood count, etc, then we would go into another round of chemo, only it would be an outpatient chemo, meaning i could go home if my counts are looking ok, come into the hospital every day for 10 days, for a couple of hours each time, getting an iv medicine and a pill. and we would do that, go home to beef up, and feel better, get my body less toxic from chemo for the transplant. and if my sister isnt a match, i would repeat this process until we found a match. so either way im looking at getting out of here in 2-3 weeks, hoping everything goes to plan, but there is always a possibility things can go awry. im keeping positive and feeling good about everything, i just have to know what could happen.

So that is an update of treatment, as far as how im feeling, much better, besides the massive amounts of diarrea for the past week and a half. i know its gross but thats whats goin on. its alright because its really the only side effect i am still feeling from the chemo, i mean, its taking a lot out of me, but things could be worse. had a bout of nausea here and there, otherwise lookin good. one thing that sucks super bad is that my mom brought in a bunch of sealed, delicious snacks i got approved to eat, tuna packs, trix yogurt, kerns peach juice, bread, frozen marie callenders dinners, among other treats, but because of the loose bowels, they are putting me on bowel rest and feeding me nutrients through an iv. fluid only diet. sucks, but if it will make me better, im with it. still craving all sorts of food when i get out of here, but im not going to dwell on that.

taking a nap, probably going to have more nutty dreams. last night i was shopping in a costco sized bakery, i was eating all sorts of red velvet and buying big ass, like 4 ft sized tubs of ice cream. it was totally wild, except i was shopping in my hospital gown, and i knew a bunch of people that worked there. its like something from this hospital stay shows up every other dream in one way or another. I have really only had one grim nightmare-type dream. where i was at my own funeral, but i wasnt dead. i had a speech prepared for the thousands that showed up, but the minister wouldnt let me speak. that was a bust, but the giant ice cream store sort of made up for it. Another false wake up dream this morning, it was 1030 and my sister and mom were here, they woke me up because this little kid who was going through chemotherapy wanted to talk to me, and he was shaking my bed, just buggin me, anywho i started to talk to him, actually started speaking about my situation and thats why i woke up, cuz i was talking, and it was only 8 o clock. crazy. need to get off these crazy drugs. its startin to bother mer, feel like i got no rest.

this is a long post but ive got a lot to say, so deal with it. All of the visitors i have had have made my stay much more enjoyable, and pass the time very well. To everyone who has visited, and those who i have turned away on account of feeling bad, You guys are great and it really means a lot. all of the friends, thanks for the snacks and slurpees and such and arts and crafts, my room is decorated better than anyone elses, to the parents/ sister, thank you for being there every step of the way, i couldnt do any of this without you, and sorry you couldnt come in dad/sister but its in my best interest on account of illness, i love you guys, to Hope, i know how rough it is without big papa back home, but youre doing great, i love you and i will be home before you know it, and i also appreciate everything you have done back home to support the situation, To Tim and Kathy and Joan, and all your chitlens, i appreciate everything you guys have done for me, i completely blame joan for getting treatment, if she didnt tell me to get a blood test, i wouldnt be here and i couldnt be more thankful. Im so glad i met you guys this past year, you have become a second family to me. i love you guys. all of the donations and support from everybody has helped me out more than you know. Im going to get a marrow donor drive set up in the next month and i would love everyone to participate, you wouldnt believe how easy it is to save somebodys life. more news coming soon. i love everyone. over n out.